All I wanted was one perfect Christmas,
All I've got was some coal and some switches
Ours is the dimmest house on the block,
They're hanging stockings, and we're hanging socks!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Doing shots of room temperature, peppermint Schnapps
As the yew log on TV, crackles and pops
They had to cut back on most of the staff,
Santa's a joker & I need a laugh!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Still, I believe in the spirit of forgiveness,
(Yes, I do)
'Cause nobody gets a perfect Christmas!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
All I wanted was one perfect Christmas
All I got was some coal and some switches
That's ain't no sleigh bell jingling on the rooftop,
But the landlord is here and he's changing the locks
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Still, I believe in the spirit of forgiveness,
(Yes, I do)
'Cause nobody gets (a perfect Christmas)!
Nobody gets (a perfect Christmas)
Nobody gets!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
[Outro:]
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! (x8)